


Fever

by gluecklich (roachprince)



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M, Morning Sex, No happy end, Smut, angsty smut, smangst.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 09:18:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4999246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roachprince/pseuds/gluecklich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a fever I am learning to live with, and everything is happening<br/>at the wrong end of a very long tunnel.<br/>(Straw House, Straw Dog - Richard Siken)</p>
<p>Myungsoo doesn't want him the way Sunggyu wants him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fever

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Fieber](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/150355) by gluecklich (me). 



> I've seen a lot of fics where Myungsoo falls for Sunggyu and can't bring himself to tell him, and they're all super cute, but sometimes I find it more interesting vice versa.

Myungsoo smells like sweetened lemons and clean sheets, but he looks like short nights and lazy morning sex. It’s a dangerous mixture. He looks like pure lust, but he smells like

_home_

but he’s not a home, not Sunggyu’s home, he’s just a guest and later, when they can walk again and have put their clothes back on and exchanged a few words, he’ll have to let him go. That’s his own fault.

Myungsoo is a nice person. Maybe the nicest person Sunggyu’s ever met. Maybe he shares first place with Dongwoo, but Dongwoo’s different, Sunggyu doesn’t sleep with Dongwoo when he shows up at his doorstep and picks at the hem of his shirt, like even after all this time he’s still nervous. Actually, Myungsoo probably is. Nervous, all over again, because he’s still scared that one day, Sunggyu might say no and stop playing along. Myungsoo doesn’t know that’ll never happen. He keeps leaving it up to Sunggyu, gives him time to turn him down in case Sunggyu doesn’t want to keep up their little arrangement, is too nice of a person to even consider that Sunggyu will never get out of this alive.  
Doesn’t want to get out of it.  
Even if he should.

One time Myungsoo said that he likes when Sunggyu is in control.  
Sunggyu was reaching for the lube and looking at him pensively and asked if he wanted to switch positions. He could do that, if he wanted to, if Myungsoo wanted to try it sometime, Sunggyu had told him in all sincerity so Myungsoo knew he wasn’t just making fun of him again. At first Myungsoo didn’t say anything, just shook his head, then he pressed his lips together and his hands on his eyes and put on that embarrassed grin that made Sunggyu feel like he’d swallowed a furnace. He was still holding the lube in one hand, fingertips of the other ghosting over Myungsoo’s thigh which was resting in his palm anyway, because he couldn’t stop touching him while he waited for the rest of his answer.  
And then he said it’s good that Sunggyu is in control. That it makes him let go, that it helps.  
That same night Sunggyu rammed him into the mattress hard enough to break part of his bedframe and make his neighbors shoot him distraught glances the next day.  
But still, Myungsoo was wrong. Sunggyu isn’t in control. If Sunggyu was anywhere near control, near discipline, or restraint, they wouldn’t be here now.

Myungsoo isn’t even fully awake yet. He can see it in his face when he shoots glances at him, but most of all he hears it in the way he moans. He sounds like he’s still dreaming. And maybe he is. Maybe he imagines Sunggyu is someone else. Myungsoo is a nice person, but there are reasons why they just fuck and leave the deeper relationships in Myungsoo’s social life to other people.  
Sunggyu likes to imagine he’s someone else too.

But he doesn’t have to think about that now. That’s what he likes about morning sex. His fingers are still caressing Myungsoo’s soft skin, mostly soft, there is a dry spot on his upper arm and Sunggyu wants to tell him to get something for that, but it’s not his business, and he’s not in the right place in Myungsoo’s life to say that to him, and it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have to think about how he likes more than just Myungsoo’s ass and the way his voice breaks when he comes, and how Myungsoo will never know, right now he just has to hold his hips and kiss his neck and keep thrusting.

Myungsoo clings to him like he always does. And Sunggyu feels hot, like he always does. His room is chilly because he turns off the heating during the night, and they’ve kicked off their blankets to get more room, and his thrusts are still slow, fluid movements because they’re both still waking up, and yet there’s a layer of sweat on his back. Myungsoo is like a fever he can’t shake off, no matter how hard he tries. He looks at him and Sunggyu’s insides burn up, he moans beneath him – quiet, and needy – and Sunggyu gasps for air, and Myungsoo touches him, presses his fingertips into the tense muscles on his back, and Sunggyu knows nothing but heat.  
Never before has he fallen for someone so hard, has he found someone as attractive, with every fiber of his being, as Kim Myungsoo.  
And Kim Myungsoo finds him attractive too, he knows that. Otherwise he wouldn’t keep showing up at his door demanding the same thing over and over. He likes sleeping with him. He likes the way Sunggyu grasps him and yanks his hair and how he kisses every spot he’s grabbed too hard afterwards. He likes to forget, and Sunggyu helps him with that, but Myungsoo always makes the first move.  
Otherwise Sunggyu would be way too lazy for morning sex.  
But he’d do a lot for Myungsoo. And if he rolls to his side this early in the morning, still half-asleep, and presses his lips to Sunggyu’s neck and his fingers to his crotch, then that means this time there’s a lot to forget. That it’s important.

But he and Myungsoo don’t find each other attractive in the same way, Myungsoo doesn’t have this _fever_ , Myungsoo doesn’t lean against the apartment door once he’s left and wonders how it ended up like this, Myungsoo doesn’t lose control.  
But it’s slipping from Sunggyu’s hands like sand.

Sometimes he thinks he can still feel it on his fingertips right before it disappears.  
But maybe it’s just Myungsoo’s hip bones moving suddenly, because apparently he’s awake enough now to hungrily roll his pelvis against him. Sunggyu groans, guttural, helpless, until his teeth find Myungsoo’s shoulder and Myungsoo grows louder than him.  
He can feel fingernails in his back and presses his own against Myungsoo’s ass cheek, positions him better before starting to thrust into him harder. The slap of skin against skin is loud, and Sunggyu’s bed colliding with the wall is even louder, but it’s alright, his neighbors are at work. Probably. Even if they aren’t, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care about anything as long as Myungsoo keeps moaning this loudly, keeps clinging to him like they’re at sea and Sunggyu is the only thing that could save him, even though he’s just as fucked.

_Doesn’t matter._

Nothing matters, because Myungsoo whimpers his name and, God, holy fucking shit, never before has Sunggyu slept with someone who _actually does that_ , he’d always thought that just happens in porn and weird romance novels, but it’s tumbling from Myungsoo’s lips, again and again, and Sunggyu feels so hot, so feverish, doesn’t know where to go with all his heat so he just keeps thrusting into him, as fast and hard as his tired body allows, and grabs Myungsoo with both hands like he could just melt away beneath him if he’s not careful. He doesn’t want to look at his face anymore because it’s too perfect and hurts too much, but he can’t close his eyes either, doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to stop seeing him. Lost, his gaze ghosts down Myungsoo’s tense body, and barely a second later he realizes that last night, in the dark, Myungsoo didn’t fully clean himself up.  
Bits of his own sperm are still stuck to his stomach, and Sunggyu stares, gulps dryly – it’s _filthy_ , and he _loves it._

He loves _everything_ about Myungsoo.

That’s exactly the _problem_.

Myungsoo comes with a cry that sounds hungry and desperate and released and content all at the same time, and Sunggyu comes quietly and strangled, inside him, and for a few beautiful seconds he can feel Myungsoo’s fingers in his hair, but then they fall back into the sweaty pillow beneath him.  
Sunggyu pulls out and just stays on top of him, waiting for the air to cool down his back, but he still feels too hot. All because of Myungsoo. It’s all because of Myungsoo.  
“I have to go soon,” he says, hoarsely and muffled against Sunggyu’s skin.  
“You just came,” says Sunggyu.  
It’s quiet for a second because Myungsoo doesn’t get the joke, but then he laughs, and gently hits his side.  
“No, seriously,” he says. Sunggyu just makes an unhappy noise and doesn’t move for a few more moments, before finally giving in and rolling to his side.

The light of the midmorning sun is like a halo around Myungsoo’s entire body, and Sunggyu stays completely still as he watches him wipe more cum off his body, his stomach and his ass and his legs, watches him stretch and fish for his underwear. Sunggyu always offers him to shower here, but Myungsoo never wants to. He just gets dressed and leaves. Like he can’t get out of here soon enough, now that Sunggyu’s fucked him long and hard enough that the pain in his ass distracts him from his problems, at least for the rest of the day. Like he can’t  
leave him soon enough.  
Sunggyu watches every muscle beneath his skin as Myungsoo dresses himself. The spot on his arm still looks dry. He doesn’t say anything about it.

He doesn’t know why he never says anything.  
Sometimes Myungsoo tells him he’s glad to have him. He’s glad that Sunggyu fucks him thoroughly and lets him sleep in his bed when Myungsoo feels too bad to be alone. That’s not what he says, but it’s what he means. He likes what they have.  
Sunggyu likes it too, but only because he dreams about moving in together and buying a dog and Myungsoo holding his hand when he sleeps next to him.  
A feverish dream.  
Myungsoo doesn’t want him the way Sunggyu wants him. And he can’t change it.

He can put on his boxers and accompany him to the door and tell him to text him when he’s home. He can feel Myungsoo’s lenient smile burn into his retinae. He can pinch his butt before he leaves, and grin stupidly about it. Sunggyu can do a lot of things.  
But he can’t tell him that his life is slowly falling to pieces ever since he knows him, that everything feels hot and sickly and wrong, and that he’s still desperately trying to just get used to it.  
He can’t tell Myungsoo  
that he loves him. 

Sunggyu looks after him until he disappears on the staircase. Then he closes the door and rests his forehead against it, it’s cool, but not cool enough to help him.  
Myungsoo smells like home.  
His apartment just smells like sweat, and the best flu he’s ever had.


End file.
